Every moment counts

Its not rocket science. Every moment of your life shapes you. This moment, that you spend loitering and doing nothing, is contributing towards augmenting your laziness. That moment when you went and spent time studying things has contributed towards increasing your knowledge. The time you spent sulking and whining has contributed towards making you sulkier and a whiner. Every moment counts.

Ironies all around

“Don’t whistle at a girl okay! Don’t! It’s very very wrong,” shouts the young man angrily as he walks away from the alleged-letcher. “Don’t whistle at a girl you Maa ka lauda!”

Does anybody else see the irony of this situation? I wouldn’t be surprised if many didn’t considering “Maa ka lauda” is a frequently-used slang. For those who don’t know what it means, it’s closest English counterpart would be ‘Motherfucker’. Not exactly the right words to use when you are lecturing someone on how to respect girls. Not the right words to use anywhere at all. This ancient practice of abusing women even when they are not in the picture is universal, all-pervasive. It has become so generic that many a persons may use these profane words without actually meaning them with respect to the women. Not that that makes it excusable. Nothing does. If anything it makes it all the more dangerous simply because it is gradually becoming a subconscious thing. A subconscious thing which is bound to get fixated in our minds and make its presence feel subtly in the tiniest of our actions, thoughts, speech. In fact its akin to how after every war in history, the women of the losing side were raped, even when they weren’t involved.

It was heartening to see men getting into a scuffle with a stranger in a strange city over the former having whistled and passed lewd comments about one of their female friends. I was happy to see the ruckus they created since this is going to serve as a major deterrent for the offender who was conveniently pleading ignorance all along. He may not stop letching pervertly at women, that’s very far ahead in the future, but he will certainly refrain from eve-teasing at least for fear of public retribution. But this incident opened up a whole new perspective of things. When you respect women, respect them enough to refrain from including them when constructing profane slangs. That is very very wrong.    

Little Women

As I began reading Little Women, the young characters, their diversity, playfulness, their innocent thoughts and sisterly love towards each other delighted me. Their plays, their neighbor and the friendship was brilliantly portrayed and its natural innocence kept intact. I oscillated between thinking that it was at times unnecessarily preachy and that it provides some good lessons. It does provide good lessons, in parts, especially during their younger days. The sisters shared some envious chemistry, and their awe towards their mother was portrayed so earnestly. One can’t help but believe that some part of this must have come from personal experience because of the honesty is seen in some of the lines. It was reminiscent of my childhood days and the many moral dilemmas that young hearts face at the time, dilemmas that seem utterly trivial today.

But as it progressed, as the kids grew older, I found the book steering towards being a text book on morality. Its visions of ideal women, women’s place in the society seemed even anti-feminist. But perhaps only whiffs of feminism were existent in the 1800s when the book was written, and the book may have even been considered bold for its expression of some feminist ideas.

 The later part of the book was disappointing for its idealization and commercialization. It idealizes the qualities of a perfect woman, and seems to have been written to cater to popular thoughts with the intention of selling more copies. I didn’t quite like the turn Jo’s life assumed. Yes, assertive girls like Jo didn’t stand a great chance to secure for themselves a ‘suitable man’ owing to their vivacity, but the fact that she gets married to a professor 15 years her senior makes me wonder if the author was insinuating that girls such as Jo would only get much older and queer guys, something which even her pleasant description of ‘the old man’ and ‘their happy paradise’ in the book cannot mask. Add to that her subtle remarks about the place of women in society, saying that “a woman’s happiest kingdom is her home, her highest honor the art of ruling it not as a queen, but as a wise wife and mother”; or Jo calling her childhood castle-in-the-air of wanting to be famous and writing books a selfish one, and indefinitely push her dream of writing one to a distant-if-possible future. She seems content with her life, but that’s only owing to the charm of fiction. It also seems to me that the idea was to write a good, well-accepted, bound-to-be-popular book, thus explaining the artful inclusion of popular notions, especially the ones delineating the role of women in society, even though the author herself may have not believed in the ideas so articulated. That is the disappointment that I take from this book, this idea that the book was written in order for it to get popular. That likens it to the sleazy stories Jo wrote for the magazine for money. What justifies this idea further is that the book draws inspirations from the author’s own family, her sisters and parents, with the exception of the Father perhaps who seems to be absent much throughout the book but wasn’t so in reality. It is said that Jo’s character was modeled on the author herself, and also that the author was a feminist who remained unmarried all her life. Now any woman writer with feminist inclinations and daring enough to be unmarried in the mid-1800s and not submit to the popular notions of woman as was prevalent would hardly seem to concur with some of the ideas about woman expressed in the book. Perhaps the ideas were so articulated because they would most definitely sell as opposed to the droll bold ideas that any feminist woman then may have had.  

Now disappointment number 2. Much as the Marches in the book, the author’s own family too in reality was poor, but in reality the relationships weren’t as smooth and idealistic as in the book. The author perhaps has put forth her idea of a life in contrast to her real life and vented that out in the book. That is the disappointment number two, the excessive idealization of family lives and values in the book, which makes it abjectly fictional.

It is very refreshing to read something that eggs you on to write, create, do, for the sake of art, for the sake of happiness. True art is an honest manifestation. Thoughts put forth honestly, whether the thoughts themselves are honest or not.

An unbiased view of the world around you. Is it possible at all? To think independently without the influences of your gender, your upbrinding, your state of mind? Our view of things are not as much a reflection of the things themselves as much as they are of us. Yet, even with these filters, if thoughts are expressed in their whole, without the influences of worries, rewards, consequences, appearances, conformity, non-conformity, if you can express all that you feel,, and be true to yourself, it is pure, it is beautiful. It leads me to think that all great art forms are great for this very reason.

Of Women

So many of us have so often encountered countless people, men and women, who meet us with a long list of what a woman must and mustn't do, wear, talk, pray, hope and say. So much so that most of us, when faced with doing something new and untried often find ourselves wondering what people would say of this. While we all have some obligations towards maintaining decorum, no obligation should be at the cost of one's own freedom of thought. Moreover, obligations and opinions are often subjective, so one must always be true to one's own thought, to oneself. Certainly the prevailing conditions have improved much for the woman of today in comparison to the woman of Elizabethan era, or even during the time of Virginia Woolf herself. Even so, one cannot help but find disparity  still existing in the treatment of women. I still see brothers deciding how much their sisters should study, who they should marry, where they are allowed to go and so forth. Yes, family is important, but in the name of family, or protection, a woman should not be stifled. We must teach our women to protect themselves rather than impressing upon them that they need protection by a male. Sadly, most women are now so complacent in their subjugated role, ever so dependent on the males of their house for the tiniest of the things. So content have some become that they want to continue in this role and very often don't realize the subjugation until pushed to the point of exasperation. And even if one woman were to attempt to break free and set her own path, the possibilities and the feasibility of it seems so unlikely that very few venture out at all.  She has very few people to look up to, and most of them who may have pursued their wish end up being the subject of ridicule. The question also arises that if a woman in content in her role as a subjugated woman, why raise this hue an cry at all? After all, woman empowerment should essentially be leading up to happiness, contentment. The problem however is that most women are content with such a role because they don't know what other possibilities exists for them besides that, as also because perhaps their lives are much better than their peers whose family imposes on them more restrictions that their own. Essentially comparing their situation to someone more downtrodden and being thankful for that. Also, over centuries us women have been wired to please others and keep others (parents, grandparents, brothers, in-laws, husband, relatives) happy and to place others happiness above her own, a trait that is considered most desirable in any woman. I love my family, but any family which, in the name of family values and love, twists a woman into doing things that go against her very nature, are they even considering the woman's happiness at all?

Possession

Impatient men like you don't fall in love with a woman, they take possession of her. 

Crash. Poof. Gone. Dust

Marriage Vs Education

I think ‘education’ is going to be the next ‘marriage’.

What I mean is, if you look at earlier days, marriage was a huge affair, arranged by the parents keeping in mind the future of their child. They made sure the child has the brightest prospects with that alliance and that he/she settled down with a good fortune and a comfortable future. It was extremely important that the chosen alliance match the family’s social standards. Marriage decided the way the society perceives you, it defines a woman’s social status, and there were set norms for the kind of guy that you would want to get married to. Your love, passion, compatibility hardly played any part in it, and that is something that was taken for granted without any questions being asked. Marrying a person of your choice, based on your love, passion, interest, while was accepted if the guy fit the conditions described above, it was considered an act of utter foolishness and would subject you to ridicule. if it involved a person of lower social status, or someone with no fortune or inheritance. Your parents would refuse to even hear the proposition, and quite naturally so, considering money is an important aspect of one’s life, something which we fail to acknowledge in caught in a whirlpool of romance.  While largely in my country that still seems to be the case, at least globally the scene has changed to a large extent now.

Now education is what seems to be going through the same phase. It’s a huge affair that parents fuss over in a big fashion because they want their child to choose the best possible course and field of study. One that will brighten his prospects and secure his future ensuring that he gets a well-paid job eventually. It is extremely important that the chosen field of study match the parent’s standards. If the parents are engineers, they wouldn’t hear about their child choosing any field ‘lesser’ than theirs, say pure sciences or commerce for example. It’s always important to chose a course that has a good ‘scope’ in the future. Your education now defines your social status. If say you are a doctor, you are likely to evoke a sense of respect and awe in people, irrespective of the kind of person that you are. Choosing a field of study based upon your interest, your aptitude, your passion is accepted if your chosen line is say the usual ‘well-respected’ domains of law, engineering, medicine etc. However, if it happens to be say music, or dance, or painting, or sports or any other unconventional field, you are subject to countless ridicules and are the butt of several jokes. Your parents would be mortified. And quite rightly so, because most of these conventional off-beat professions don’t pay much and of course money is an important factor in our lives. While largely in my country this seems to be the case, at least globally the scene has changed to a large extent.

Cosmic Calendar

If we fit all of the cosmic evolution into the 12 months of our calendar, we humans only evolved within the last hour of the last day of the cosmic calendar. Think about how insignificant we are in the grander scheme of things. All of recorded history occupies only the last 14 seconds. There was so much before us, and there is so much that will continue to exist after us. 

Parvathamma

I see Parvathamma, an old lady well into her 70s, originally from Tamil Nadu carrying sack loads of rice on her head. Those below poverty line are given rice at a highly subsidized rates of about 1-2 Rs per Kg in her State. Every month this lady visits her hometown, collects her share of the rice and brings it to Bangalore to sell it. Laden with these sacks on her head she boards the general compartment of the train, which is always so full of people that there never is enough air to breathe in there, travels without tickets with an occasional verbal abuse by the tt. Since our house is close enough to the Railway Station she carries these sacks, one on her head, the other with her hand, and walks all the way to our house, a distance of around one kilometer. She then sells this rice to people here at a rate lesser than the market price and earns some bit of money, probably enough to sustain herself. I wonder though, what is it that she really does with that money? She doesn’t buy anything for food. Mostly she eats whatever is given to her by my mother or my aunt, or even the neighbours. She helps around the house and does odd jobs, sweeping our small verandah, washing the terrace, carrying things from here to there. Whenever there is a function in any of the houses, she is usually called in to help with the dishes and other small errands that she runs. In return, she is given some money and lots of food. She sustains herself on that food. At times she even keeps them in our refrigerator and asks us to heat it for her when she wants to eat it. She hardly bathes, maybe once a month, that is if she does bathe. However, she never misses to bathe every time she comes back from a house where there has been death. Superstitions supercede poverty, health and sickness. She sleeps on my aunt’s terrace where she spreads her plastic mat, and covers herself with a bedspread. She washes her clothes outside my aunt’s house where there is some space and a tap, and dries her clothes on the same terrace. She has her own treasure of things, some coconut shells, and plastic bottles, and some others that I cannot fathom, that she spreads on our terrace for drying. Every once a month, or sometimes twice, she disappears with most of her treasures back to her hometown, and is back with sackloads of rice.

What is interesting, is that Parvathamma, who lives like a homeless in Bangalore - sleeping on our terrace or our verandah, has her own house back in her hometown. She comes from a village called Jolarpet in Tamil Nadu. She has her own house there and she only returns to her own place once or twice a month and prefers to spend the rest of the time like a homeless, doing odd jobs to earn small money and some food. The money that she earns is not great, maybe its just enough for her to get by or maybe she doesn’t even spend the money at all for that matter. I don’t see any expenses that she may incur, she gets free health check up at government hospitals and even free medicines. Then why does she go through the whole trouble of carrying those sacks on her head and bringing them all the way here every single time? That too at her age. Why does she prefer sleeping in the verandah or the terrace of somebody else’s house rather than rest in her own house at her age? She has a son, who is married and has children of his own. She has grandchildren whom she brings here once in a blue moon. Why does she not want to stay with her son and depend upon him for her sustenance at her age? She doesn’t. She continues to do what she does regularly, jumping at every opportunity to earn extra money, money that I have never ever seen her spend. She doesn’t even buy tickets for her travel after all. Why then do you think she goes through all of this trouble? Do you think its because of habit? All her life she has been used to doing something, anything at all for her sustenance. Of what I know of her earlier life, her husband died early, she has been around for nearly 20 years now, she was close to one watchman who also passed away, she put her son to school, had him educated and he now works back in Chennai. For as long as I have known her, she has been helping around with these odd jobs and ever since the public distribution system has begun in Tamil Nadu, she has been selling rice here. All her life, she has been compelled to work for survival, for the smallest need, and maybe this has stuck with her. I think she gets restless if she sits doing nothing for long, and there is this inner need to constantly be occupied. Maybe she will continue to do this all her life. 

Illa illa, naanu ninge bidalla,
Neenu naanu baa jotege hogona..
Aiyyo mommy, haha mommy, arere mommy..


Ninna dodda dodda kannu,
Nindu dodda dodda baayi,
Neenu keltiya kivi inda,
Neenu eshtu dodda baayi

Neenu hogbeda nanna bittu
Haha bittu
Naanu nin kinta eshtondu chikku
Naanu nin kinta eshtu preethi
haha preethi
Naavibru irtivi in bangalore city
Ninna dodda dodda kannu
Hey hei!

NGMA

When you look at these paintings and photographs, unlike in movies where the characters may be a figment of someone’s imagination, here they actually existed. They were there at that point of time, at that very place, they were part of the natural “landscape”.  And now, they are immortalized through these paintings and photographs. It always fills me up when I see these old photographs and paintings. While so much may have changed in the world externally, in a way everything has still remained the same. The sky is still here and just as beautiful, the trees dance with as much grace to the wind, the people have as much depth in their expression and water is just as soothing now as it seemed then. How important art it. To know, that back then this was the life, and there were these people who believed in these things and they are conveying that through their art and their paintings. I do not get art entirely to be honest, I cannot decipher what each brush stroke is a manifestation of, but I can feel that it is the manifestation of something. That little paint spot is on the canvas because the artist wanted it to be there, it was deliberately placed there by the artist to convey something that is on his mind. A spot, a mere spot, is an instrument of expression.

Take a large room with a high-rise ceiling, bare walls, devoid of any furniture and any other object. A truly empty room. Hang on the wall a tiny painting and the room is now so full.

Although I have visited National Gallery of Modern Art in Bangalore many a times before, my presence was restricted to its tiny café where I have sat reading my books and studying at times. So content was I in the setting that I never thought of venturing inside the gallery itself. Little did I know that I would fall so much in love with the gallery. And this love is not just on the account of the beautiful paintings housed inside, but also because of the gallery itself. In fact for me, who is frankly not much of an art connoisseur, it is more because of the gallery. Its windows to be precise. Its an old mansion belonging to a prince that has now been converted to the gallery and every minute I was inside it I envied the people who had the luxury of living in it at one point. The envy increased progressively as I explored more of the place. I can’t get my mind off those windows. Those beautiful, lovely large windows with white frames, white sills, and devoid of any grilles. Outside, all you can see are the trees, age-old huge luscious, beautiful tress of all shades of green, and the accompanying birdies. It’s a sight I could get used to. The whole atmosphere sets the mood for these paintings, and even the uninitiated can feel the somber atmosphere and the beauty of it.

Our responsibility to freedom of speech

There has been a lot of debate over free speech and freedom of expression lately. The most recent one stemming from the Knockout Roast hosted by All India Backchod (AIB), a Youtube comedy channel known for its many hilarious videos, some of them obscenely offensive. Now what happens in Roast comedy is that your jokes are centered on humiliating the other person in all possible contexts, ranging from his choice, sexuality, looks, girlfriend, family, anything at all pertaining to the person. The more sacrilegious the insult, the louder people laugh. Now this roast, where the roasting happened of two popular male actors, was funny in parts, hilarious in others, extremely sexists and racists on other lines. Again, as in the case of recent movies and songs, everything is centered on sex and obscene gestures. There has emerged this trend, where showing obscene gestures to convey that you don’t care have become a fad, and everyone seems to be following it.

Coming back to the roast, naturally many people raised a furore claiming it hurt their personal, religious, racial sentiments and clamoured for it to be taken down. While relentless initially, the channel had to eventually take down the video. There were litigations filed against them. This prompted a few other Youtube channels comprising of comedians to release another video urging people to raise their voice and voice their opinions lest the freedom of expression be taken away from us altogether. And that internet is the most free form of media and heaven forbid that it too be regulated over in due course of time. That it is a fair media, and allows you to voice your opinion so rather than forcing someone to take down something they’ve created and hinder a person’s creativity by placing hurdles around them, voice your opinion if you are against it without resorting to violence.

Internet is a comparatively fair media, everyone gets a chance here. Everyone is subject to ridicule and appreciation. The question however is again about free speech. Like someone said, your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. It is a question of responsibility, of how responsible you are as a person. If you are sane enough to know that in the process of utilizing your right to freedom of speech, thought and expression, are you interfering with another person’s right to live in peace?

Take for instance, the case of this video. As I have earlier pointed out, it was in parts funny, sometimes hilarious even, but at other times it was obscene. Being centered on sex is not a point in case by itself, it is the way that that is portrayed that is obscene. For instance, at one point one of the actors says that they are both infinitely better than the others who have been ridiculing them simply because they can have sex with whoever they want. As if having sex with every other person, or being in the position to be able to do so, is the motto of life. One other person in the panel was continuously ridiculed for how dark he was, another for his sexual preferences, one guy for his cultural background.

Another point is that they may have said it in good sport, and don’t really mean it in a derogatory way. Which may even be true. The problem is that they are in one way or another, propagating the way a person should be, how a girl should be hot, good-looking, else they can be subject to ridicule. The argument that it is the audience’s prerogative to take whatever they want from the video, and if they object to their content then do not watch their videos, or speak out against their ideologies also holds good. The problem is that Indian audience is not mature enough to do that. There are people who take for face value what is being said and then propagate these ideas which are really derogatory. So it essentially isn’t their fault, they are doing this in good spirit, while our Indian audience isn’t mature enough to take it for what it is, and after all, internet being a free medium, everybody has an access to it, even children. But being what you are right now, and having the kind of reach that you posses, it also your responsibility to moderate your content, especially considering the atrocities happening against women already. You can keep talking about your freedom of speech, but what about your responsibility to that same freedom of speech? I am a great fan of your work, and I enjoyed in parts your roast comedy, but you should tone it down for the sake of your own responsibility.

06-02-2015

India won the match against Pakistan, and the whole country erupted in celebrations. That is all you could see the news channels relaying throughout the day. People dancing, celebrating, dissing Pakistan, glorifying Indian cricketers. In fact, the match ended around afternoon in India, and the celebrations are still on at night. People dancing, shouting slogans, beating drums in the middle of the road.

Bull shit.

Look at the things that have begun to matter to people. Even if you were to say it’s the joy of winning a match against an arch rival, many believe this victory to be more substantial than India even winning the World Cup. Nobody would even care if India will now win the world cup or not. That’s an amazing display of sportsmanship. Everyone is just so ecstatic on India winning match. No one saw celebrations on this scale when India’s Mars Orbiter Mission was launched. Here we are, doing something very few in the world have done, doing something substantial that will for real help make so many lives better,  here we have reached the elite club globally in terms of our brilliance, and nobody cares. No firecrackers for these please. Fire crackers are reserved for cricket victories that satisfy our shallow ego of having beaten a rival country. Why? Because we think that this loss will be a big hindrance for all of Pak’s strategy against India? They will continue and keep up their assault regardless. Isn’t that why we hate Pak in the first place? Because of the regional disputes and the wars? And here we are rejoicing over a cricket victory. And people in Pakistan going one step ahead and breaking their tv sets because Pak lost. What dumbheads! It just goes on to show how we have lost our focus!

Nobody focuses on important things anymore. Nobody focuses on things that are actually driving our lives.  

Single woman? Produce a NOC if you want to travel overseas.

Its 2015 already. Time is slipping away, quiet and unnoticed. What is noticeable for me, is the change in the way I now see things. I see things. I see the consequences of an ancient ideology of gender superiority fed into the mind of men, in the seemingly mundane acts of our everyday life. A by-product of a far-reaching ideology that has perpetrated minds of the entire human race, not just the men. This in a way carries forward what I previously spoke about humans filled with an innate desire or urge to express superiority on another set of humans in the name of gender, religion, caste, colour, place, GENDER.

Even when all the problems of the world are solved, humans will still find a reason to kill each other. And one sure-shot reason is a presumed dominance over the other.

I read about women, grown-up, independent, working women being asked to furnish a no objection certificate (NOC) from a male member of her family (father/husband) when applying for a visa. An absolute manifestation of the assumption that a woman always 'belongs' to a male, her father before her marriage, and her husband after her marriage. As if she in incapable of taking care of herself (ironically the same people proclaim that a woman's duty is to 'take care' of her family) and require permission from men to travel somewhere.

To a sane male this may sound preposterous. To a chauvinist, reasonable. For a moment Stand in my shoes, and see, as a Woman. The closest I can get to is 'outrageous', and even that doesn't entirely describe what I feel. There are people all over the world fighting tooth and nail for women's liberation, and then comes along an archaic idea such as this. Its as if suddenly my eyes were opened, and I could see such ideas of dominance lurking behind so many routine things, feeding ideas into other minds, silently, in an obscure manner. Be it the tv soap in which the husband declares to his wife that he married her in order to avenge his sister and that he loves another girl. The rest of the episodes are focused on the wife's attempts of 'winning him over', where she should have instead slapped him hard and walked out. She eventually does win him over, and he falls 'in love' with her, which supposedly makes up for all the atrocities he committed on her in the meantime. An idea which says that men can do all that they want, and that the duty of a woman, a 'good' woman, is to put up with her 'man' and work on 'winning him over'.
Take a real-life incident where a girl is forbidden from studying any further because her brother, who may even be younger to her, believes there is nothing to be gained for a woman by studying. The rest of the family concedes because he is a guy and 'obviously' knows much more than a girl would.
I see men in my own family saying cruel, inappropriate things, doing the wrong things and getting away with it. Possibly saying and doing such things in the first place because they know they can get away with anything on account of being men.
I see men on bikes, hooting and yelling at me as I ride my bike along with a female cousin on a lonely road. While earlier I would have passed this off as an immature, fun things for these boys, I then started wonder what is it that they get from this hooting. It is not fun really. If it were for fun alone, they would have done this to every passing vehicle and not just the ones that with girls riding on it. And anyway, their tone and choice of words would have more than suggested whether they were having fun. No this is not fun. This is a rude thing to do. This is harassment and they know it. They do it anyway because they are sure that the girls wouldn't yell back rude profane things at them considering how desolate the road is (haven't we taught our girls to bend our heads and walk when being eveteased?). This is just some outlet for their puffed sense of a male dominance, to satiate their shallow ego and their assumed dominance. And our silence and conformity to these standards bloats their ego much more. The brunt of which are to be borne by us.
Stand up for yourself, and for every single girl around you.


- 10-01-2015

Power

I think that humans have an inherent, innate desire for power. For superiority and dominance over someone else. Throughout history, one can find instances where one group has sought to control another group, group with members belonging to maybe a different gender, religion, race, colour, caste, piece of land. There has always existed this desire to be dominant over someone else, to achieve which they build stories and give reasons to justify the atrocities committed on others.  Be it the Whites' atrocities on the Blacks, the Aristocrats' on the Peasants wars, Crusades, Holocausts, Genocides, Terrorism.
The phenomenon is becoming increasingly clear to me. Yesterday, armed men allegedly claiming to be 'jihadis' from Al-Qaeda stormed the offices of Charlie Hebdo, a French daily which was previously under attack for having spoofed Prophet Muhammad by way of caricatures and cartoons, and killed its editors and various other cartoonists allegedly in retaliation to some tweets against the ISIS Chief. Later, they stormed out of the offices shouting that they have avenged the Prophet and their Chief.
What makes men believe that they have the right to take away another man's life? Our own lives are so precious to us, there are so many things that we wish to do with and in our lives. It is preposterous for another man to come and take my life away simply because he has ideologies and beliefs different from that of mine. Are you going to force belief out from me at gun point? Is that how little faith you have in your ideologies that you think you need guns to propagate it?
What I know is that its only when you have no knowledge or basis for your belief in your faith, that you cannot take any criticism or any questions against them. When you are sufficiently knowledgeable, you are open to criticism and have the ability to be cynical about your beliefs, in fact this way you strengthen your own beliefs. If you do not have the ability to do that, you resort to violence, force and denigrate others.
Shouldn't we be doing something about it as opposed to just making observations and verbally condemning the attacks? Its our collective silence that spawns an avenue to inflict more harm and subsequently endanger the entire community. Many of us Muslims know that we oppose such acts, but are not even vocal about it on a public platform. We have to act and not go about living our lives oblivious to all that is happening around us, thinking that it isn't happening to us after all. Today it is not, tomorrow it may. And if that is inevitable, we can at least rest eventually knowing that we have done all that we can towards building a life that is better for generations to come.
Sometimes I think that we humans have survived through so many generations, lets say lived through, lived through so many generations, and people in each generation may have had grand plans for the humanity, for the liberation of man's mind from petty things and to focus it on important things such as love, respect, honour, courage. And along may have come a few who sought to break these in their war for power, and in the process, taken humanity back to being uncivilized. Next some others rise, trying to steer humanity towards better values and restore civilization. Thus the cycle continues. A wheel, that may have been set into motion from the moment humans graced this earth, and which may continue for eternity. It makes me wonder what is the point of it all? What difference does it eventually make in the grander scheme of things? What is the grander scheme of things? What is the point in me even attempting to try to change the society if the society is to eventually fall back upon itself the moment it gets the opportunity to do so? Is it only for the sake of a clear conscience on my death bed? I hope its more than that. I hope that these little acts actually add up to something in the grander scheme of things. I hope that there IS a grander scheme of things where we are moving towards the better and where these thoughts and actions of ours have played their part.

- 8-01-2015

The Great Gatsby

When the trailers for The Great Gatsby were out, I was excited to watch the movie and parallelly the thought that no  movie could be as good as the book itself ran in my mind. I did not take serious efforts to watch that movie though.
The book, I remember, had a great effect on me. Some of the quotes were so extraordinary that they have stuck with me years after I have finished reading the book. The opening line which says, "Remember, not everyone has had the advantage that you have had" has helped me in many a occasions and has kind of shaped a huge part of me single-handedly. I always get back to that quote. Even what he says about how even Daisy cannot quench what a man can store up in his ghostly heart, the quote on the green light at her dock, many such were really impressive for me, and it made my list as one of my most favourite books. And we are all very possessive about our books, especially when someone has set out to make a movie of it. Take for example Harry Potter series, when I look back now, the movies aren't half as bad as I had criticized it when they were out. Of course yes, there are still some parts that you are unhappy with, but honestly, you do tend to get over critical about the movies. At least I do, especially about the ones adapted from my favourite books. I still prefer books over movies, preferring to read the book before I watch the movie as much as I can.
This movie, got me hooked right from the beginning. It was the direction I think. The director has really made a wonderful movie, brimming with imagination. The characterization is also exceptional. Leonardo DiCaprio fit the role perfectly, I couldn't have asked for a better Gatsby, and the way he has put for every expression of Gatsby, I felt that the man truly understood Gatsby's character from all its depths. He definitely was the hero for me in this movie. The movie didn't have some of my most favourite quotes from the book, and had instead some of its own beautifully written dialogues. It has depicted Gatsby in all his grandeur, the parties, his mansion, his love, for Daisy and for the past and the future even, Nick's innocence everything to perfection. Its one of those movies you are glad you finally watched.
At the end of it I couldn't help but feel disgusted over how some people get away with the lies and the cheat and the outrageous things that they have done. And this is something that you very often see in real life as well, that there are certain people, who do all shit in their life, towards others, and get away with it just as easily. It is just not fair, and there aren't many people who would stand up to them, thereby pushing them to do such things even more. It leads me to realize that the world is filled with such people and you can only do your bit to change it by not siding with such people and being an example to the others. Sometimes people just need to see to change, they need to see and know that such people also exist, this will help them take a different stand too.

Written on - 1-7-2015

One step at a time

What's certain is that the journey is not going to be easy for you. You are going to be cussed, pulled down, criticized, lied about, misunderstood, underappreciated and ignored in general. Because you have aimed to do the things which no one else dared to dream. And inspite of all this, you have to go on.
While people around you may make a hundred mistakes, even a single mistake of yours will be paraded ceremoniously. You cannot crib, you cannot complain. It won't make any difference. Instead you have work with more single-minded determination towards whatever it is that you want to accomplish.
Most of them here have their focus on things which are so frivolous in the bigger picture. You cannot lose your focus on the important things on account of that. You have to continue doing what you are doing. Question every act, reject anything that is immaterial. Its always difficult to be the first one doing it, but even so, continue doing that. What you continue doing now, will affect many generations to come. And that is possible only because you took a step ahead.

Written on: 1-3-2015

On another land

To borrow from Julie Delpy, when you are younger you think that you are going to find many people who you connect with, and over a period of time you then realize that there in fact are very few people that you connect with. Its true, you meet so many people all through your life and its only a few who you can connect with, with whom you can be yourself without any worries and very few who can really relate to and tolerate on a daily basis. And when you do have those rare encounters where you find a person you connect with instantly, a person you have so much to talk to, with who you can be yourself and with who you have a lot of fun, who you think really makes sense, when you do have those chance encounters they are moments of pure bliss. During the times you get lost in the company, oblivious to the people and surroundings and really discover a new self in you. It is also interesting to note that such encounters usually happen when you are in a new place, a place where you have no usual routine, nowhere to get to, no one to go meet, a place where you are just there. Just there with the person and you discover the joy of discovering a new place and a new person. And those feelings, that connect, that joy is precious. They always remain with you, irrespective of whether you are in touch with the person, or whether you feel the same towards the person or even if your equations are still the same. The memories you cherish nevertheless. You look back, and you feel that its sad that you don't have the same equation with the person, but you don't cry over it, because maybe you have gained more than lost in the process.
I think the reason that this may fade is because you don't take the effort. The first time around when you have that spark you bank on it and everything rides on it, and then you get back to your routine and you think that the spark will remain, which of course it may but with some effort. We always forget that part of it, the effort. Not everything comes easily. It may come easily the first time around, but following that, things need some effort. Even friendships require some amount of effort.
I think what makes you most queasy is the thought that it may have not been for the other person all that it was for you. Even if it is downplayed one percent in his mind, for you its a total disaster. And that uneasy feeling always remains, what if it didn't mean to him all that it meant to you, and I'm not even talking about getting into a relationship with the guy.  What I'm talking about is the connection, that joy, those moments, that may translate into a life-long friendship even. Its sad when people don't take the effort to maintain relationships, to work on something that may have blossomed into something beautiful. To leave it mid-way can mean two things, one - that you think its not worth the effort, two - that you want to leave things the way they were. Of course the optimistic would prefer the latter over the former, but would that mean having a romantic ideal?