I'm back

Not that I knew I was already here. I just created a blog thinking that i'm finally gonna start bloggin only to discover that I already have. And that completely escaped my memory. It was almost three years ago, august 2008 apparently and it suddenly comes to my mind, that yes, I have blogged earlier,
In the middle of the night,
Alone,
So happy to not be bothered by my parents,
Pestered to go sleep while I wanted to think,
While I wanted to write,
To write down my train of thoughts,
Books and dairies I've filled many,
Let me now fill a tiny speck in the virtual world,
I can't tell you how surprised and incredibly happy I was to find those posts, Its like discovering yourself, of what you were three years ago, and to know that not much has changed anyway ..:D
Its like how the author said in The Great Gatsby, that he was trying to recover some idea of himself that went into loving daisy, I was trying to recover some idea that was in me three years ago, that I think have lost now, I don't understand why.
Somewhere down the lane I have lost myself.
Given into things I should have refrained from maybe,
And i'm trying to discover what went wrong,
Where is the confidence that I had in myself,
Where is the Me?
I need me, more than anything else,
I was so happy, being to myself.
Although you would find me being unhappy inall my earlier dairies,
But that was being unhappy with people,
With mum, with dad, with friends, cousins
But seldom myself,
I understood myself,
I was patient with myself,
I loved myself.
But now,
Now I have utter disregard for myself,
With only regard to whatever gives me momentary satisfaction.
The Thinker in Me is on a break,
A break longer than I probably had anticipated.
What I want now, is to recover, regain myself,
My Shai..